Cancer = My Way to My Weirdness (Salvation)

(Guest Post) I used to wonder why things happen the way they do, and I soon realized, that God has a plan and purpose for all of us.  The scripture says, “all things work together for the good of them that love God.”  This is why I say that cancer was my way to salvation.

At the age of two, I lost my mother to this dreadful disease as she was delivering my little sister, Carol.  My mother had two children by a previous marriage and three girls with my father.  At the demise of my mother, our family separated.  My brother and sister were taken by their father to live in California.  My sister, Consuela, and I were brought to Nashville, Tennessee to live with our dad and grandparents.  Thus, putting me on the road to my WEIRDNESS (salvation).

Baby Carol was unable to leave the hospital for six months due to her medical condition at birth, but her birth was nothing short of a miracle.

As time passed, things were explained to us about our mother’s disease.  It was explained that her disease was hereditary.  My mother was gone and we were left with a constant FEAR of our genetics.

My father suffered greatly from my mother’s passing.  So much so, he began binge drinking from time to time.  Eventually, he did return to reality about his responsibilities to his children.  He took a job with Mayflower Trucking Co., which left us in the care of our grandfather while he was on the road.  We became one of the most loving, dysfunctional family units cared for by God.

When my father would return from the road, he would always bring presents.  He would be happy to see us, but would often cry when looking at my sister.  Our granny informed us that it was because my sister closely resembled my mother.  My sister and I grew close in everyway as time passed from the loss of my mother, father, and grandparents.  We felt as if we only had each other.

We grew closer and closer, but a kink was thrown in our plans.  My sister became ill in 1997.  The thing we feared the most became a reality.  She was diagnosed with the very thing that killed our mother.  Our FEAR quickly became a reality.  As time passed, her bodily weakness was very noticeable, but her spirit was stronger than ever.  It was unbearable watching her body pass away, but I was grateful that she passed away accepting her WEIRDNESS (salvation).

With a constant lingering FEAR looming over my life, I myself had to face my greatest FEAR.  I was diagnosed with the same disease that had taken my mother and sister from me, just a year and a half after my sister’s death.  I experienced various ups and downs with my faith being challenged in everyway.  God spoke to me through my minister.  My minister reminded me of the story of King David and how distraught FEAR had taken over his life.  He proceeded to mention how King David found his quiet place and talked to his Heavenly Father.

I began to pray to God.  I don’t know what happened after that, but I found my WEIRDNESS (salvation).  I was laughing and having a regular conversation with my Father in heaven.  I went from being a wimp to being a CHAMPION!  I have never looked back and I constantly thank Him for the power He has bestowed on my life.

My husband, daughter, son-in-law, and my entire family including the church helped me through my difficult times.  Cancer drew me closer to God!  Therefore, causing me to find my way to my WEIRDNESS (salvation).  Now, I want to help others to BE WEIRD and strong through their difficult times.  No matter if it is cancer or any other trial, nothing can separate me or anybody else from the love of our Father in Heaven.

Pauline